Dear Lady Gaga,
I get it. We all get it. You’re unique, you’re different, you like to push the envelope. You have your own sense of style – everything from random veils, to dressing up like an egg to wearing a dress made out of meat. I can’t say I’m a huge fan of your music, but I don’t immediately change the radio station if one of your songs comes on, which if you knew me is saying a lot. What I fail to understand though is why you insist on parading around in an underwear and bra in a lot of your videos. Before you get angry and defend yourself with freedom of expression and being comfortable in your own skin, just hear me out. I get all that. I’m not trying to tell you how you should dress or that what you wear is inappropriate, I just don’t understand the need.                                                                                                                                                                                                                       In the video for “Telephone”, you’re dancing around a prison in a bra and a thong with a bunch of other barely dressed girls. It is in no way appealing – frankly you all look a little uncomfortable. And how does this add to the video? How does it make it more interesting? It’s simply the easiest, most guaranteed way to raise eyebrows and cause a stir – wear as little clothing as possible. Your other outfits in the video are pretty whacky, but they at least demonstrate some element of creativity. Whereas the prison scene is merely a feeble attempt at being provocative. The same thing goes for your “Born This Way” video. The song has a positive message (thought it’s eerily similar to Madonna’s “Express Yourself”), and you have several outfit changes but the majority of the video is you doing choreography in a bra and underwear. Is it a metaphor for being your true self, free of all clothing (but since you can’t dance naked this is the closest thing)??
                                                                                                                                                                                                                         For someone who has based a large part of her career on uniqueness and originality and creativity this common trend seems anything but that. So maybe you should take some time off, regroup, rethink how you’re going to approach your career. If you want to be provocative, maybe going the hypersexualized route isn’t the way for you. Maybe you should stick to being weird and perhaps you will stand out more. Like I said before, I’m not criticizing, I’m just trying to understand.

 

Dear Rihanna,
What the heck happened? I have always had an appreciation for your music and think you’re very talented. I always saw you as one of the stronger female singers, not only vocally but in the way you present yourself. Unlike majority of other female singers, you can tell the difference between sexy and slutty and classy and cheap. Until recently. I saw the video for your song “S and M” and I was quite taken aback. From the very provocative sexual positions you put yourself in, to making out with strawberries and bananas, it was all a little too much for me to handle. I was hoping that maybe you exaggerated the sexuality of the video as some sort of parody, but I don’t think that’s the case. Right off the bat the song title itself should have tipped me off. With lyrics like “Sex in the air/I don’t care I like the smell of it”, I should have seen it coming.

But I had more faith in you. You were one of the ones I could count on who didn’t need to rely on cheapness and sluttiness in order to sell your records. I know sex sells and everyone uses it to some degree, but you had some class when you used it. This is something I would expect from Britney or Miley: they don’t have the talent so they need to find other ways to make sure they sell records. But you, I had more hope for you. When I try and view this video on YouTube I’m prompted to declare I’m 18 years or older otherwise I cannot view the video due to its explicit content. Sigh. I hope this isn’t a sign of a new direction you’re taking. I hope it was just a slip up, a mishap, a bad day. I hope.

Dear NKOTBSB,
You guys need to stop reaching. Just let it go. It’s been over for a long time now, you guys just need to accept that. I’m actually embarrassed for you now. NKOTB, when you guys seemingly rose from the dead after 14 years and came back with a reunion tour, I was skeptical. And with good reason. Everyone’s a little older, fatter and less coordinated. Classic “has-beens”. But one reunion tour is understandable, to relive the glory days, to get some love from your still screaming female fans, and maybe feel good about yourselves again. I get it. But a reunion tour should just be a reunion tour, not to be followed by a collaboration tour.

BSB, you guys should have thrown in the towel years ago. After a couple of not-so-successful attempts at making a comeback, you guys should have taken the hint. ‘N Sync did it and they are all way better off: JC is a judge on America’s Best Dance Crew – though I’m not sure how he’s qualified; Lance came out and tried to go to the moon; Joey was on Dancing with the Stars; I’m not really sure what happened to Chris and JT is, well JT. They accepted that life in a boy band can’t last forever and eventually they needed to move on.

But NKOTB and BSB, not only did neither of you quit while you were ahead, you merged, combined forces. BSB, you guys lost Kevin (though I’m sure no one noticed) and Nick we all suffered through your solo career and your reality show – after seeing all that, why would I want to listen to your music anymore? Brian, don’t you have some sort of heart condition? Is it safe for you to be touring again? AJ, I’m crossing my fingers you don’t end up in rehab again and Howie I hope you cut your hair. NKOTB, Jordan and Joey despite your efforts, you both have relatively non-existent solo careers, Jonathan and Danny you both seemed to have moved on and pursued other careers and Donnie you were actually starting to build a relatively decent resume as an actor.

So who thought this union would be a good idea?? Was it you guys or your PR people? And what if BSB was called something else? The all too coincidental NKOTBSB acronym wouldn’t work. Does that mean this super group wouldn’t have formed? Was it just too good to be true that the letters fit together? Did u guys take that as a sign that it was meant to be, and you just had to do it? Everything about this screams a bad idea, but I wish you boys luck, you’re going to need it.

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